The end of one year! The beginning of another! As I look back on my what has happened in my life in the past twelve months I remember good times, where everything is right in the world! and I have gone forward with faith, strength and determination. I also remember the not so good moments where nothing is right in the world and it takes all I have to place one foot in front of the other!
I have had many amazing growing experiences this year and I am truly blessed and forever grateful to God for giving them to me! He is so great and so patient as I learn and grow and become the woman He wants me to be. I know that those low points this year were for my benefit and for my growth.
I have had my eyes and heart open this year, to things that I need to be doing in my life and in my home. Some of them will be easy. And some will require a little work and some will require a lot of work and even some sacrifice on my selfish part! I can do it though! (little bit of positivity to keep me going!) ;)
I have always had "New Years Resolutions" because I always wanted to set a goal and accomplish it! Well I never have been able to keep them so I don't really want to set one(again!) if I am not going to do it... so here's the dilemma.... I need to starting doing and changing some things...tomorrow is a new day, a new month, a New YEAR!! what better time to start?!
I guess I could say its just not a "New years resolution" its a lifetime resolution!
It just so happens that that this change I am desiring to make is falling now- at the end of the year and I have the opportunity to start it with a new year! these are changes that I could have and should have made earlier in my life! (yes even as long ago as 15 year!) but I didn't know and have the knowledge that I do now. I feel like its one of those "to everything there is a season, and I time to every purpose under the heaven" types of things. A friend of mine told me that it wasn't my time 10-15 years ago to be going through this and making these changes. This is my time and season to be learning and going through the experiences I have. Its my time to learn and grow through those experiences and have my mind and heart open to being able to understand and change now!....I got off on a side note :) back to what I was saying: It happens that I am choosing now to begin these things... I am all for New beginnings and a new year, and a clean slate and all those sayings and metaphors.... BUT.....To me this is different! this isn't just some "thing" I want to do this year. It's not some goal or dream that I want to accomplish! This is a Whole Life kind of a deal! These are things that I want to become a daily habit!..forever! no matter what! its not the kinds of things that are like everybody does! "eat better" "exercise" "read a book" etc! I am not knocking those! and I am not knocking those who do that! I am just saying that's not what kind of a goal this is!!
You wish I was going to tell you what it is I am doing don't you!?! Well I am not going to be writing that today! maybe someday but not now! If you want to make this kind of change in your life.... you can! open your heart, open your mind, and go find out!!
I pray this year brings the blessings and desires of your hearts! always keep believing in your dreams and goals! always keep faith and hope strong!! Always keep moving forward! even if its a down day and it takes everything! DO IT ANYWAY!! :) (yes that's my 'lil pep talk!)
So in ending...
Happy Beginnings!!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Thursday, October 31, 2013
positive and negative
YES its true! you are killing yourself!
I'm sure that's news to you! it sure was to me when I found out, so I decided to read study and learn so that I could give life to my body!...not only body but mind and spirit!
So here's the big disclaimer: I am not a dr, a health care provider, or anyone that is qualified to give you any answers or prescribe anything to you. this is all just my own findings and research and experiments! (keyword, I have "experimented" and found what works best for me) don't blame me for anything ok? :)
SO here we go....and prepare yourself for a long read!
Ok so where to start?
Energy: what is energy? I have found many definitions.
~Internal or inherent power, the power of operating whether exerted or not
~Power exerted, vigorous operation, force, vigor
~effectual operation, strength or force producing the effect
~strength of expression, force of utterance, life, spirit, emphasis
~the strength and vitality required for sustaining physical or mental activity
so there are a few of the definitions. everything has an energy!!! I mean everything!!!!!! There's something else you should know about me...I am NOT a scientist! so I cant really tell you about all the energy that's in everything :) but what I want to focus on is this: Energy is POWER...don't believe me? read the definitions again up there! ^
What is power? power in a philosophical sense is the faculty of doing or performing anything. The faculty of moving or producing a change in something. Its also an ability or strength.
so with that being said...is there negative power? is there positive power? is there negative energy? is there positive energy? If you're human please don't tell me if you answered no to any of those questions ;)
So here's a question that you may answer no to: can you feel negative energy? Can you feel positive energy?
some people are more sensitive to feeling it. some also have different reactions to it.
so... positive energy is what? moving, doing, performing, power, life, spirit.. in an upward. positive direction! so when you have a negative moving, doing, thoughts and actions... is it beneficial? what happens when you are going in a negative direction with your thoughts, power, moving and doing?
OK Here's a thought! think of a time when you were in a good mood! everything seemed right in the world! then something changed. what made it change? a negative energy did it! most likely a negative thought of your own or the negative energy of someone you were in the presence of!
don't tell me you have never been around someone who has leaked their negative energy to you!
the energy you carry will attract the same energy from others! If you are in a negative energy kind of day, chances are you will probably attract other people (also things and events!) that are negative! flip it around and you will attract positive people things and events if you carry a positive energy!! Some people who are really good at it can block the negative from others and share their positive and help others to heal and turn around their energy!
positive energy in our bodies makes is feel happy, energized, full of life, inspired, motivated and healthy. negative energy will make us feel tired, unhappy, sad, depressed, and angry. Extreme volumes of negative energy will create sickness! I don't remember where (I'm sure you can find it somewhere) but someone said that all our physical sickness and problems come from our negative thoughts and emotions! (I'm a big believer in that).
I am just going to insert a personal pet peeve of mine here! I have very little patience for people who are always saying how sick they are and how hurt they are and how nothing is helping them and how life would be better if... Seriously?! quit complaining about it! draw some positive energy to yourself. don't share your negative crap with us! you are that sick because you brought it upon yourself with all your pity parties! ;) *end of rant* ps I still love you... just don't have the patience ;)
positive energy stems from all things that impact the mind body and soul in a nurturing manner, creating a healthy way of thinking feeling and living. love and happiness help create positive energy which we need to build our positive energy. in order to build our positive energy we must be aware of how draining the negative energy is!! this is a video about the negative things we say... its pretty long (8min) but its worth the watch... lots of the little things that we thing wouldn't matter if we said it...it does! and it drains!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev37bFxAIX0
you have seen or heard of the science experiment with the rice right? you put cooked rice in two separate jars and talk nicely and positively to one and to the other you say negative and mean things to. then watch what happens! this is also a cool video to show the effects of positive and negative energy on water. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCHWoshp_uA
so like it says at the end of the video our bodies are mostly water!
I would advise you to pay close attention to what you're thinking and saying, to yourselves and others! even little things you think wouldn't matter... they do! (yep I said it again!)
here are a few ways of building our energy
~~ meditation: no it doesn't mean this:
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/11/04/why-does-walking-barefoot-on-the-earth-make-you-feel-better.aspx
http://magazine.foxnews.com/earthing-go-barefoot-better-health
To Be Continued........ I have more not tonight!
Sneak peak:
chakras and positive affirmations
I'm sure that's news to you! it sure was to me when I found out, so I decided to read study and learn so that I could give life to my body!...not only body but mind and spirit!
So here's the big disclaimer: I am not a dr, a health care provider, or anyone that is qualified to give you any answers or prescribe anything to you. this is all just my own findings and research and experiments! (keyword, I have "experimented" and found what works best for me) don't blame me for anything ok? :)
SO here we go....and prepare yourself for a long read!
Ok so where to start?
Energy: what is energy? I have found many definitions.
~Internal or inherent power, the power of operating whether exerted or not
~Power exerted, vigorous operation, force, vigor
~effectual operation, strength or force producing the effect
~strength of expression, force of utterance, life, spirit, emphasis
~the strength and vitality required for sustaining physical or mental activity
so there are a few of the definitions. everything has an energy!!! I mean everything!!!!!! There's something else you should know about me...I am NOT a scientist! so I cant really tell you about all the energy that's in everything :) but what I want to focus on is this: Energy is POWER...don't believe me? read the definitions again up there! ^
What is power? power in a philosophical sense is the faculty of doing or performing anything. The faculty of moving or producing a change in something. Its also an ability or strength.
so with that being said...is there negative power? is there positive power? is there negative energy? is there positive energy? If you're human please don't tell me if you answered no to any of those questions ;)
So here's a question that you may answer no to: can you feel negative energy? Can you feel positive energy?
some people are more sensitive to feeling it. some also have different reactions to it.
so... positive energy is what? moving, doing, performing, power, life, spirit.. in an upward. positive direction! so when you have a negative moving, doing, thoughts and actions... is it beneficial? what happens when you are going in a negative direction with your thoughts, power, moving and doing?
OK Here's a thought! think of a time when you were in a good mood! everything seemed right in the world! then something changed. what made it change? a negative energy did it! most likely a negative thought of your own or the negative energy of someone you were in the presence of!
don't tell me you have never been around someone who has leaked their negative energy to you!
the energy you carry will attract the same energy from others! If you are in a negative energy kind of day, chances are you will probably attract other people (also things and events!) that are negative! flip it around and you will attract positive people things and events if you carry a positive energy!! Some people who are really good at it can block the negative from others and share their positive and help others to heal and turn around their energy!
positive energy in our bodies makes is feel happy, energized, full of life, inspired, motivated and healthy. negative energy will make us feel tired, unhappy, sad, depressed, and angry. Extreme volumes of negative energy will create sickness! I don't remember where (I'm sure you can find it somewhere) but someone said that all our physical sickness and problems come from our negative thoughts and emotions! (I'm a big believer in that).
I am just going to insert a personal pet peeve of mine here! I have very little patience for people who are always saying how sick they are and how hurt they are and how nothing is helping them and how life would be better if... Seriously?! quit complaining about it! draw some positive energy to yourself. don't share your negative crap with us! you are that sick because you brought it upon yourself with all your pity parties! ;) *end of rant* ps I still love you... just don't have the patience ;)
positive energy stems from all things that impact the mind body and soul in a nurturing manner, creating a healthy way of thinking feeling and living. love and happiness help create positive energy which we need to build our positive energy. in order to build our positive energy we must be aware of how draining the negative energy is!! this is a video about the negative things we say... its pretty long (8min) but its worth the watch... lots of the little things that we thing wouldn't matter if we said it...it does! and it drains!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev37bFxAIX0
you have seen or heard of the science experiment with the rice right? you put cooked rice in two separate jars and talk nicely and positively to one and to the other you say negative and mean things to. then watch what happens! this is also a cool video to show the effects of positive and negative energy on water. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCHWoshp_uA
so like it says at the end of the video our bodies are mostly water!
I would advise you to pay close attention to what you're thinking and saying, to yourselves and others! even little things you think wouldn't matter... they do! (yep I said it again!)
here are a few ways of building our energy
~~ meditation: no it doesn't mean this:
however if I had a beach close by.. I think I might make it this!
meditating can mean many things! heres a few ideas: take a walk, deep breath, pray, a favorite hobby, just taking a break from a busy day a could be your type of meditation. its up to you!
~~ food... yep that's right! food has the ability to change our feelings! the food that gives us the largest increase of in feelings are the ones that greatly lower our inner strength! the high acidic, high refined sugars and processed foods! Fruits and vegetables increase our inner strength and inner energy as they contain the stored energy of the sun! the alkaline foods, when consumed turns into a crystalline structure in the body, improving the whole system! I can attest to this one! I haven't eaten refined sugars in almost 6 months... totally life changing!! (and for you women readers :) I haven't had pms symptoms!)
~~nature: nature can build energy from being in places like mountains, waterfalls, forests, oceans, rivers, streams, stones, fields etc etc!! "Study movements and sounds. Study with a child mind of wonder and admiration" (don't know who said it). I can tell you this one works too!! like a charm!! go take a walk!
So on some similar note: have you heard of grounding or earthing? I wont go into it but here are a couple of articles worth reading! http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/11/04/why-does-walking-barefoot-on-the-earth-make-you-feel-better.aspx
http://magazine.foxnews.com/earthing-go-barefoot-better-health
To Be Continued........ I have more not tonight!
Sneak peak:
chakras and positive affirmations
Friday, October 4, 2013
Insomnia, emotions, music
I better not get too carried away with this blogpost... Because I have stuff in my head that goes way deeper as far as music and emotions go.... Not necessarily together.. But totally does and can go together!
Ok so it's not like it's that late... But sometimes I feel insomnia-ish when I lay down to go to bed and I need to "get away" and just not think about what's really going on in my head. So I get a book, my laptop, my iPhone... And I turn on pandora or YouTube... And I forget about life, emotions, or the fact that sleeping is healthy.
Tonight it happens to be pandora-easy listening! And my iPhone. I'm forgetting the fact that tears are pushing their way out... Do I have a reason to be emotional? Is being a woman reason enough? I don't really have a specific reason no... It could be that I have been sick, it could be because its been a long day! It could be because... Because....because... It could be lots of things!
It could be because my violin string broke! One of my happy places, or emotional outlets is music! There is something bred into my soul that makes me connect SO deeply with music!! I am not a concert violinist or pianist nor am I a vocal performer. I used to want to be all those things! But life brought me a different direction. Plus I am still shy about things like that...."what you want me to sing like no ones watching"? I am an amazing singer... In the shower!
Ok so my point with this... I hope I can word it right! I have an emotional connection with music... Maybe because I have had difficulties in expressing myself it's easy for me to think the song does it. Ok so for an example: the song "the way you look tonight"... When I was younger my mom was making dinner and my dad was playing with a new CD player we'd just bought. He put in a cd and a little while later that song came on and be started dancing with my mom! It was so cute! I remember thinking that I wanted a relationship like that! And that's also the song I wanted my dad to sing at my wedding because of that moment. So that song will always bring me back to that moment. Oh maybe that's what it is!! It brings me to a moment in time that is special so that's why the Song is special! That's one reason I'm sure. But sometimes it's not a memory but more of a feeling or a specific person.
It's not only that... You know?! After all this maybe this maybe that the best way I can put the bottom line is a deep connection and/or passion between my heart and music!
So as I end this post.. The song playing is Let it be - the Beatles. I think that's the answer to my unknown emotions... That I am not facing right now. Deborah, face it and just let it be! :)
Thanks for listening/reading through my insomnia-ish rant!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Since You've Been Gone
Dear Dad,
Since you've been gone, I have wished I could talk to you and have you here with me. I know that I can talk to you and you can be with me and hear me, but sometimes I wish I could feel your arms around me, and have you just hold me when nothing else will do!
Since you've been gone, I have had times where all I do is think back on all the memories I have of you. I have so many wonderful, funny, awesome, educational, and great memories and things I don't ever want to forget!
Since you've been gone, I have longed to hear your voice, singing, laughing, talking, whether its words of encouragement, comfort, or even those guided words of discipline that I so desperately needed.
Since you've been gone, I have sometimes wanted to be that little girl in your arms again, and never have to grow up. I have had many moments where I have ached to hear those emotion filled words you spoke to me on the day of my High School Graduation "Does this mean I have to let you grow up now"? There are times I want to replay that moment in your arms again and again! College graduation, my wedding day, the day I got my house! No daddy, you don't have to let me grow up!
Since you've been gone, I have wanted time and time again to ask your opinion on something, to have you help me with a problem. I have wanted to call you up and see if you needed anything at walmart! ;)
Since you've been gone, I have noticed that I wasn't the best daughter! I look back and I cant change anything but I know with all my heart that you loved me and were patient with me through my times of "bratty daughter"!
Since you've been gone, I want you to know I have felt you with me and I have been so blessed with those experiences even just to know you care, and to know that you know that's all that I need!
Since you've been gone, I want you to know that I wont ever stop replaying my life with you in my mind, I will ALWAYS remember, my very very first memory of you, not long after I was born(even of some protest that I can remember that young, I KNOW its fact!) I will ALWAYS remember every good thing you taught me, and every testimony that I gained from hearing yours, and every teaching moment you embraced, and every "date" we had!
Since you've been gone, I want you to know that I have an amazing husband! I have longed SO many times to just tell you how much I love him and how you would be SO proud of him!! He treats me like you would want and expect him to! But Dad, I'm still your little girl!!
One last thing, I miss you!
And dad, I love you!
Love, Deborah
p.s. Tell Teresa, and Grandma(s) that I miss them too! and since its not yet time for my kids to be with me, please tell them I love them!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uloaEY81hOQ
wouldn't a telephone in heaven be AMAZING! ;)
Since you've been gone, I have wished I could talk to you and have you here with me. I know that I can talk to you and you can be with me and hear me, but sometimes I wish I could feel your arms around me, and have you just hold me when nothing else will do!
Since you've been gone, I have had times where all I do is think back on all the memories I have of you. I have so many wonderful, funny, awesome, educational, and great memories and things I don't ever want to forget!
Since you've been gone, I have longed to hear your voice, singing, laughing, talking, whether its words of encouragement, comfort, or even those guided words of discipline that I so desperately needed.
Since you've been gone, I have sometimes wanted to be that little girl in your arms again, and never have to grow up. I have had many moments where I have ached to hear those emotion filled words you spoke to me on the day of my High School Graduation "Does this mean I have to let you grow up now"? There are times I want to replay that moment in your arms again and again! College graduation, my wedding day, the day I got my house! No daddy, you don't have to let me grow up!
Since you've been gone, I have wanted time and time again to ask your opinion on something, to have you help me with a problem. I have wanted to call you up and see if you needed anything at walmart! ;)
Since you've been gone, I have noticed that I wasn't the best daughter! I look back and I cant change anything but I know with all my heart that you loved me and were patient with me through my times of "bratty daughter"!
Since you've been gone, I want you to know I have felt you with me and I have been so blessed with those experiences even just to know you care, and to know that you know that's all that I need!
Since you've been gone, I want you to know that I wont ever stop replaying my life with you in my mind, I will ALWAYS remember, my very very first memory of you, not long after I was born(even of some protest that I can remember that young, I KNOW its fact!) I will ALWAYS remember every good thing you taught me, and every testimony that I gained from hearing yours, and every teaching moment you embraced, and every "date" we had!
Since you've been gone, I want you to know that I have an amazing husband! I have longed SO many times to just tell you how much I love him and how you would be SO proud of him!! He treats me like you would want and expect him to! But Dad, I'm still your little girl!!
One last thing, I miss you!
And dad, I love you!
Love, Deborah
p.s. Tell Teresa, and Grandma(s) that I miss them too! and since its not yet time for my kids to be with me, please tell them I love them!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uloaEY81hOQ
wouldn't a telephone in heaven be AMAZING! ;)
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Diligence and Determination
Well, I'd say its high time for a new blog post. I have had thoughts and ideas about what to write about but I haven't ever actually sat down to write. some of them need some more thinking time anyway. so today since I was up bright and early (6:30, and if you know me that's not normal) I figured I would sit and write because I am all packed and ready to go and now just waiting to leave. In the life of a farmers wife there is a lot of waiting. today its because is hay season and the farmer is out baling hay :)
I have never been one to put myself on a schedule unless I had to. like when I was working, or when I was in college. I'd say that is a "have to" situation! I didn't mind it. It was one of those things where I liked it then after a while I needed a break... then it would be a semester break and I was able to have a break! yay! toward the end of the break I would be craving "something to do" so it worked out nicely during school. ....Well now that I am graduated and long past college, semesters, schedules, early morning alarms, and late night cramming. I seem to have a crave for a schedule! At first my thoughts were more toward: "I need something to do" I don't need anything more to do! I have a yard to clean up, plant and beautify! I have a garden!! (I saw a cute little one inch zucchini yesterday!) I have a house that needs to be settled in!.......you would think after a year I would be, but no.... there are still little things that need to be done. some I can do on my own and some I need help with....( ^ remember that waiting thing I was talking about ;) ) there are still things I need to purchase, curtains, a couch, a desk, all of which are "big" things and I am still saving up the green to be able to purchase them. ..........I thought about the whole "I can do it for cheaper thing, as far as my curtains go.... well the fabric I wanted for my nursery was: $15.00 a yard! yep I think I will wait for a coupon or prioritize a little :)
So........I just saw a handsome man drive past my house on a motorcycle..... I think he is done baling... that means I will cut this short.... just a little because I have a good point :)
Instead of thinking that I needed something more to do to have a little structure, I have changed my thoughts to: diligence, and determination! if I can get up today at 6:30 because I need to be ready to leave and I have something to do... I can get up everyday early and take care of the responsibilities that are entrusted to me! I can schedule myself and structure my time with out someone or something else (school or work) doing it for me!
there was a time a little while ago that I was trying to put myself on a sleep schedule. I would go to bed by 10:00 or 10:30 and then I would get up by 7:00 ish. I did it for probably 2 weeks and I could tell that my body was getting used to it. Before long I was up by Seven without an alarm, (up and actually alert) and by Ten at night, I could always tell it was Ten even without looking at the clock because my eyes started stinging and saying to my brain...go find that comfy bed and pillow :)
If I can do it for two weeks with sleep I can do it for longer and with other aspects of life! I can do all the things on my virtual "to do" list and have time to spare for all my unfinished hobby projects!
Here is to my new goal of diligence and determination! :)
I can hear the motorcycle again..... I am kind of thinking I will talk him into a date: monsters university! (I LOVE that he goes to "kid" movies with me! tangled, cars 2, hotel Transylvania, and today, monsters :) I love that man!!!) besides a date night before I go camping with a bunch a girls for 4 days is justifiable right? (heck its justifiable any time we are "in town" just because its important for a healthy relationship to remain in the "dating phase")
I will write again soon!
I have never been one to put myself on a schedule unless I had to. like when I was working, or when I was in college. I'd say that is a "have to" situation! I didn't mind it. It was one of those things where I liked it then after a while I needed a break... then it would be a semester break and I was able to have a break! yay! toward the end of the break I would be craving "something to do" so it worked out nicely during school. ....Well now that I am graduated and long past college, semesters, schedules, early morning alarms, and late night cramming. I seem to have a crave for a schedule! At first my thoughts were more toward: "I need something to do" I don't need anything more to do! I have a yard to clean up, plant and beautify! I have a garden!! (I saw a cute little one inch zucchini yesterday!) I have a house that needs to be settled in!.......you would think after a year I would be, but no.... there are still little things that need to be done. some I can do on my own and some I need help with....( ^ remember that waiting thing I was talking about ;) ) there are still things I need to purchase, curtains, a couch, a desk, all of which are "big" things and I am still saving up the green to be able to purchase them. ..........I thought about the whole "I can do it for cheaper thing, as far as my curtains go.... well the fabric I wanted for my nursery was: $15.00 a yard! yep I think I will wait for a coupon or prioritize a little :)
So........I just saw a handsome man drive past my house on a motorcycle..... I think he is done baling... that means I will cut this short.... just a little because I have a good point :)
Instead of thinking that I needed something more to do to have a little structure, I have changed my thoughts to: diligence, and determination! if I can get up today at 6:30 because I need to be ready to leave and I have something to do... I can get up everyday early and take care of the responsibilities that are entrusted to me! I can schedule myself and structure my time with out someone or something else (school or work) doing it for me!
there was a time a little while ago that I was trying to put myself on a sleep schedule. I would go to bed by 10:00 or 10:30 and then I would get up by 7:00 ish. I did it for probably 2 weeks and I could tell that my body was getting used to it. Before long I was up by Seven without an alarm, (up and actually alert) and by Ten at night, I could always tell it was Ten even without looking at the clock because my eyes started stinging and saying to my brain...go find that comfy bed and pillow :)
If I can do it for two weeks with sleep I can do it for longer and with other aspects of life! I can do all the things on my virtual "to do" list and have time to spare for all my unfinished hobby projects!
Here is to my new goal of diligence and determination! :)
I can hear the motorcycle again..... I am kind of thinking I will talk him into a date: monsters university! (I LOVE that he goes to "kid" movies with me! tangled, cars 2, hotel Transylvania, and today, monsters :) I love that man!!!) besides a date night before I go camping with a bunch a girls for 4 days is justifiable right? (heck its justifiable any time we are "in town" just because its important for a healthy relationship to remain in the "dating phase")
I will write again soon!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
ALL of my moms
I bet if you are reading this the title caught your eye :) being mothers day the other day I thought I would tell you about all my moms...
yes I have a million moms!! after all a definition of mother is: to care for or protect like a mother or act motherly to. these women have cared for and protected me and I know they will continue to care for and love me forever! ....and post is to tell you about them and what I learned from them!
first of course is MY mom the one who gave me life. she has given me so much more than life!! she has given me the desires to serve and to be a good person. She has taught me about life, love, respect, joy, character, dignity, virtue, happiness, service, etc etc etc. she is the best! and these other moms are AMAZING but sorry, don't hold a candle to MY mom!!!
Then there is my mom Meri: she taught me the importance of loyalty and the value of strength
My mom Teresa: she taught me to go for my dreams and BELIEVE that I could do all I dreamed I could
My mom Elaine: she taught me the value of having patience and joy that comes when we wait, she also taught me that if we go through Hell, we can come out on top with all the blessings of Heaven
My mom Rebekah: she taught me to ignore the negative remarks of snooty people and just do what I want and what I think is right, she also taught me to do what I say I am going to do, to earn the trust of people.
My mom Cindy: she taught me that love is the most important thing in life. and to let people know you love them!
My mom Jenean: she taught me to speak kindly about people.... always!
My mom Pat: she taught me that we are all human and its ok that we are learning
My mom Jodi: she taught me to have faith and be strong, and that the little disturbances in life...are just that... little don't let them take hold of you.
My mom Lila: she taught me the importance of friendship and what it means to have a friend.
My mom Coleen: she taught me to love the outdoors and to love to connect to the earth.
My mom Rose: she taught me to reach out to those who are going through similar circumstances and let them know they are not alone and that you love them
when I was thinking about writing this it made me think of how all these women, some a part of my life daily and some only in my heart daily.... but it made me think of how I can have that kind of impact on the children in my life and how I hope that I can touch the lives of those children that I may have a "motherly influence" on.
yes I have a million moms!! after all a definition of mother is: to care for or protect like a mother or act motherly to. these women have cared for and protected me and I know they will continue to care for and love me forever! ....and post is to tell you about them and what I learned from them!
first of course is MY mom the one who gave me life. she has given me so much more than life!! she has given me the desires to serve and to be a good person. She has taught me about life, love, respect, joy, character, dignity, virtue, happiness, service, etc etc etc. she is the best! and these other moms are AMAZING but sorry, don't hold a candle to MY mom!!!
Then there is my mom Meri: she taught me the importance of loyalty and the value of strength
My mom Teresa: she taught me to go for my dreams and BELIEVE that I could do all I dreamed I could
My mom Elaine: she taught me the value of having patience and joy that comes when we wait, she also taught me that if we go through Hell, we can come out on top with all the blessings of Heaven
My mom Rebekah: she taught me to ignore the negative remarks of snooty people and just do what I want and what I think is right, she also taught me to do what I say I am going to do, to earn the trust of people.
My mom Cindy: she taught me that love is the most important thing in life. and to let people know you love them!
My mom Jenean: she taught me to speak kindly about people.... always!
My mom Pat: she taught me that we are all human and its ok that we are learning
My mom Jodi: she taught me to have faith and be strong, and that the little disturbances in life...are just that... little don't let them take hold of you.
My mom Lila: she taught me the importance of friendship and what it means to have a friend.
My mom Coleen: she taught me to love the outdoors and to love to connect to the earth.
My mom Rose: she taught me to reach out to those who are going through similar circumstances and let them know they are not alone and that you love them
when I was thinking about writing this it made me think of how all these women, some a part of my life daily and some only in my heart daily.... but it made me think of how I can have that kind of impact on the children in my life and how I hope that I can touch the lives of those children that I may have a "motherly influence" on.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Just a minor post... About my major love!!
I just want to write real quick how much I love my husband!
He is the greatest! God knew what he was doing when he matched us up!!! He is my friend, my strength, my support, my comfort, my love, my life!
He knows when I am down and lifts me up. He is patient with me and what I put him through! He loves me for me. He loves and accepts the quirks and faults I have. He is patient with the growth and learning I am doing.
He loves the fact that I have a foot wall and a bright red wall. He even picked out the blue paint for my kitchen ceiling!
He knows how to make me feel special and he knows how to make me laugh!
I have been married to him for 3 years and almost 2 months! Marrying him was one of the best steps I have taken! I plan to take lots of good steps in my life to always make me move forward and live a good life. I plan to live my dreams and conquer all my fears and insecurities!
I will do it hand in hand next to him! With his help, strength, and love... I know I can do it!
he was gone for a couple days, and when he came back he brought me 3 tomato plants for my garden! ...
I have been struggling with some things and 3 tomato plants just because he was thinking of me, Meant the world!
A look, a wink, a smile, a squeeze of the hand, a joke, a hug.... A word, some silence, or 3 tomato plants. I am loved! And I love him!
He is the greatest! God knew what he was doing when he matched us up!!! He is my friend, my strength, my support, my comfort, my love, my life!
He knows when I am down and lifts me up. He is patient with me and what I put him through! He loves me for me. He loves and accepts the quirks and faults I have. He is patient with the growth and learning I am doing.
He loves the fact that I have a foot wall and a bright red wall. He even picked out the blue paint for my kitchen ceiling!
He knows how to make me feel special and he knows how to make me laugh!
I have been married to him for 3 years and almost 2 months! Marrying him was one of the best steps I have taken! I plan to take lots of good steps in my life to always make me move forward and live a good life. I plan to live my dreams and conquer all my fears and insecurities!
I will do it hand in hand next to him! With his help, strength, and love... I know I can do it!
he was gone for a couple days, and when he came back he brought me 3 tomato plants for my garden! ...
I have been struggling with some things and 3 tomato plants just because he was thinking of me, Meant the world!
A look, a wink, a smile, a squeeze of the hand, a joke, a hug.... A word, some silence, or 3 tomato plants. I am loved! And I love him!
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
The woman in my life....and why it was standing room only at her party!
On March 8th 68 years ago, in 1945 Joyce was expecting a baby...and she knew it was a boy and she knew he would be born on March 17th (St Patricks Day). And she knew his name would be Michael Patrick (or Patrick Michael, I don't remember). ....So the next day, March 9th a little beautiful baby Girl was born. not a boy, not the 17th, and not Patrick, or Michael. She was Bonnie Joyce! My Mom!
She grew up in the Bay area of California. She graduated from Cal Berkley. She married my Dad. She had 2 boys, then 5 girls. She stayed busy, with 7 children and the daily motherhood trials of illnesses, injuries, stitches, raging hormones of 5 girls (same house, same time)!
Her degree was business administration, she also stayed busy doing the accounting and book keeping of small businesses and also most of her children and other close friends.
She also teaches at a small private school. does some private tutoring (including all of us kids when we were in college). and she watches grandkids and gives rides to school, and and and... believe me when I say the only thing she doesn't do is take liquid medicine! oh and clean up our throw up if we were sick! :)
my mom does ANYTHING for ANYONE. she is the Woman in my life who I aspire to be like one day. she is the woman who's heart breaks when she sees her children struggle. actually not only does her heart break she goes through it with them! She is the women who knows how to live life with joy, happiness and dignity. she is the woman who smiles when she wants to cry, is strong when she feels weak. she is the one who will listen to me when I need to let it all out, and cheer me up when I am down.
7 years ago(almost exactly) my sister was diagnosed with cancer, My mom was with her EVERY step of the way! Dr. appointments, surgeries, chemo, etc etc etc. Teresa was hospitalized with a blood clot in her leg. and she was sent home on hospice. meanwhile.. my mom with her every step! another meanwhile... my dad had a mild heart-attack and after a while wasn't responding to treatment, and then was even unresponsive... he was in the hospital for over 5 months. guess where my mom was? traveling over 80 miles a day, being with Teresa and my dad! EVERYDAY!
Teresa's condition worsened, my mom took care of her better than any other "qualified" nurse or Dr. mom gave shots and meds and all that needed to be done.. and she helped with Teresa's 4 young children.
one weekend my other sister when down and stayed with mom and helped out.. and the rest of us (dad still in the hospital) were around spending time together and being with Teresa. We all left Sun. night. Monday morning Teresa died. my mom lost her baby! and a little piece of her heart.
shortly after, Dad was moved to a care center where he could regain strength and get better and come home. guess where my mom was? EVERYDAY up with my dad!
mom didn't do this because she had to. she was with him (and my sister) because she wanted to!
in September of 2007 (a year later) my dad was again hospitalized and shortly after, sent home on hospice and died that same night. what was my mom doing? making us dinner, making us juice, comforting us. She is our rock and our strength! I say our because if I say: MY than the other siblings might get jealous!
shortly after that...My grandma, Her mom, was diagnosed with lung cancer. she was 400 + miles away.. but guess where my mom was? traveling and being with and taking care of her mom. after a short battle with the lung cancer, my grandma died. with mom by her side!
Meanwhile, if any of us other kids needed something, she'd drop anything and help us!
How does she do it? I don't know! but I do know that I deeply admire her and I want to be able to have that kind of strength and wisdom!
SO... Not only does she show this kind of service and strength to her family. but to her friends and community as well! I don't know exactly what she does or who she helped but, at her birthday party...lets just say I've never seen her house so full! when I was making the list of people to invite.. I asked my husband if he could think of anyone who loved my mom. and he said you mean more than everyone I know?
EVERYONE loves my mom! why? because she loves everyone!! she shows so much love toward people that you just cant help it!!
My mom is THE WOMAN in my life that will always be THE WOMAN in my life! there are other ladies that have amazing qualities that I admire and respect. but NONE like my mom!
I love my mom so much!!!
Mom, I love you so much! thank you for always being there for me! for teaching me about life and the joys of life! thank you for teaching me about love, respect, honor, faith, knowledge...the list goes on. thank you for teaching me how to be strong, and how to serve and love and forgive!
Thank you for teaching me about health and for doctoring me up when I was sick.
Thank you for helping me through my trials, and going through my struggles with me.
Thank you for showing me how to live! thank you for giving me life!
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-------------------
I remember a long time ago my sister finding a song...:When mama prayed.. and I remember her saying how that was like my mom, because whenever she needed help with something she would call mom and ask her to pray for and with her. here is that song!
She grew up in the Bay area of California. She graduated from Cal Berkley. She married my Dad. She had 2 boys, then 5 girls. She stayed busy, with 7 children and the daily motherhood trials of illnesses, injuries, stitches, raging hormones of 5 girls (same house, same time)!
Her degree was business administration, she also stayed busy doing the accounting and book keeping of small businesses and also most of her children and other close friends.
She also teaches at a small private school. does some private tutoring (including all of us kids when we were in college). and she watches grandkids and gives rides to school, and and and... believe me when I say the only thing she doesn't do is take liquid medicine! oh and clean up our throw up if we were sick! :)
my mom does ANYTHING for ANYONE. she is the Woman in my life who I aspire to be like one day. she is the woman who's heart breaks when she sees her children struggle. actually not only does her heart break she goes through it with them! She is the women who knows how to live life with joy, happiness and dignity. she is the woman who smiles when she wants to cry, is strong when she feels weak. she is the one who will listen to me when I need to let it all out, and cheer me up when I am down.
7 years ago(almost exactly) my sister was diagnosed with cancer, My mom was with her EVERY step of the way! Dr. appointments, surgeries, chemo, etc etc etc. Teresa was hospitalized with a blood clot in her leg. and she was sent home on hospice. meanwhile.. my mom with her every step! another meanwhile... my dad had a mild heart-attack and after a while wasn't responding to treatment, and then was even unresponsive... he was in the hospital for over 5 months. guess where my mom was? traveling over 80 miles a day, being with Teresa and my dad! EVERYDAY!
Teresa's condition worsened, my mom took care of her better than any other "qualified" nurse or Dr. mom gave shots and meds and all that needed to be done.. and she helped with Teresa's 4 young children.
one weekend my other sister when down and stayed with mom and helped out.. and the rest of us (dad still in the hospital) were around spending time together and being with Teresa. We all left Sun. night. Monday morning Teresa died. my mom lost her baby! and a little piece of her heart.
shortly after, Dad was moved to a care center where he could regain strength and get better and come home. guess where my mom was? EVERYDAY up with my dad!
mom didn't do this because she had to. she was with him (and my sister) because she wanted to!
in September of 2007 (a year later) my dad was again hospitalized and shortly after, sent home on hospice and died that same night. what was my mom doing? making us dinner, making us juice, comforting us. She is our rock and our strength! I say our because if I say: MY than the other siblings might get jealous!
shortly after that...My grandma, Her mom, was diagnosed with lung cancer. she was 400 + miles away.. but guess where my mom was? traveling and being with and taking care of her mom. after a short battle with the lung cancer, my grandma died. with mom by her side!
Meanwhile, if any of us other kids needed something, she'd drop anything and help us!
How does she do it? I don't know! but I do know that I deeply admire her and I want to be able to have that kind of strength and wisdom!
SO... Not only does she show this kind of service and strength to her family. but to her friends and community as well! I don't know exactly what she does or who she helped but, at her birthday party...lets just say I've never seen her house so full! when I was making the list of people to invite.. I asked my husband if he could think of anyone who loved my mom. and he said you mean more than everyone I know?
EVERYONE loves my mom! why? because she loves everyone!! she shows so much love toward people that you just cant help it!!
My mom is THE WOMAN in my life that will always be THE WOMAN in my life! there are other ladies that have amazing qualities that I admire and respect. but NONE like my mom!
I love my mom so much!!!
Mom, I love you so much! thank you for always being there for me! for teaching me about life and the joys of life! thank you for teaching me about love, respect, honor, faith, knowledge...the list goes on. thank you for teaching me how to be strong, and how to serve and love and forgive!
Thank you for teaching me about health and for doctoring me up when I was sick.
Thank you for helping me through my trials, and going through my struggles with me.
Thank you for showing me how to live! thank you for giving me life!
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-------------------
I remember a long time ago my sister finding a song...:When mama prayed.. and I remember her saying how that was like my mom, because whenever she needed help with something she would call mom and ask her to pray for and with her. here is that song!
Friday, March 1, 2013
oh how many many feet you meet...
You may or may not have heard that I have a foot wall. And you may or may not have known that I have a slight obsession with feet. Don't ask where and when I got it...because I don't know. ok ok, if I had to think about it and wonder... I like the way my feet look and I used to think I could model shoes and stuff... when I got my Sr. pictures taken in High School, my sister and I mentioned that I wanted my feet in some of the pictures because I had capris on and I thought my feet were cute. So she's taking the pictures and told me she was getting ready for a foot one...and she says "put your feet here" so I did... and then click flash snap. I had a picture of my feet.... this is the one :)
However, also since then I have thought a lot about feet and the meaning and purposes of them. it is obvious that you need feet to walk and balance and and and. the list really goes on. so here is what I have thought of over the past 8 years.
Balance: we need our feet to balance... why do we need balance.. you try to do a days work of what ever it is you do, with one leg or one foot. not very easy! (ok so I've never done it but the thought is hard)
we need balance in more areas of our lives than just physical. We need the other kind of physical balance... like all your parts inside working correctly and a balanced diet. We also need emotional and spiritual balance.
Steps: Think about life with out steps.... ? yep that's right no moving forward, no climbing stairs etc
our steps start out small. as a baby learning to walk we learned little by little. we learned to walk. we then learned to run and skip and even walk gracefully..(ok I am still learning that one)! when we run its like we get to experience flying for a measurement of time that's smaller than a second... our feet propel us when we run and in those moments of running there are times when our feet aren't even touching the ground!
absorption: did you know the feet are SO absorbent! I've never tried this exact experiment but: you can put a clove of garlic on your feet (like holding it with your toes) and within a small amout of time you will start tasting it! crazy huh! There are nerve endings from your whole body ending at your feet. therefore absorbing all that is put on. if your sick, you can put things(vicks, essential oils etc) on your feet and it will help your cough or sickness heal up and be more manageable. so with that said? what do you put on your feet? what are you absorbing? what are you absorbing in the rest of your life? regardless of this talk about feet :)
electricity and grounding: I don't know the scientific-ness of this statement or sections but in my psychology class, (and I have heard it else where) that they electromagnetic fields (that are all around us, and increasing) have a negative effect on our bodies! the things we were talking about in our class was a herd of cows. there was this herd of cows that had two places that it could be. one was in a field by a big electrical plant, and the other was far away from this plant and what they found is that when they were grazing near the electrical plant the cows had significantly less babies, lower birth weight babies and less milk. and other numerous health problems. But when it was far away from that power plant. they had healthy babies, more babies, plenty milk, and overall good health. so my teacher was explain that just like cows...electromagnetic-ness causes problems with us too. what does that have to do with feet? if you go outside barefoot...it helps reduce the static and electric-ness that's in your bodies. Play in the grass. work in the garden. etc etc just ground yourself back to nature and the earth! ......(by the way, I'll talk about shoes next but you cant ground yourself with shoes on, it blocks the connection between you and the earth and defeats the purpose)
path and direction: you cant walk in the direction your head or heart want you to go unless your feet are pointed that direction.. simple as that!
Shoes: shoes cover your feet, keep them warm, protect them, take you places, etc etc. but you collect so much Crap! from all those places that you just were. so when you get home.. take them off. you don't really NEED your shoes on at home. so why have them on? its partly a matter of cleanliness because who doesn't love a clean house? but really? your home is your special place! your home is...well its my baby, and pride and joy. I am pleased with the specialness of my house! it isn't my house its my home, its my safe haven, my protection, my school, my life! and the yucky outside nastiness (in more than physical dirt) has no place here!
Following: how do we follow someone? we watch their balance, we watch their steps, we watch their path and direction? if it rings true? we follow them!
this blog didn't turn out how I thought it would but I hope you enjoyed it!!
so at some point in my life...(in the past 8 years) I decided I was going to have a Foot Wall! so now that I'm all grown up and have a house :) I have a foot wall. its at the entrance of my house...(coming and going...get it). its not done? I have some more things I want to put on it. but I was tired of waiting till I got them :) I had these and I didn't want them sitting there collecting dust anymore :) so I put these up and when I get the other stuff I will add and re-arrange :)
so... ever since then, I guess is when I had this obsession. However, also since then I have thought a lot about feet and the meaning and purposes of them. it is obvious that you need feet to walk and balance and and and. the list really goes on. so here is what I have thought of over the past 8 years.
Balance: we need our feet to balance... why do we need balance.. you try to do a days work of what ever it is you do, with one leg or one foot. not very easy! (ok so I've never done it but the thought is hard)
we need balance in more areas of our lives than just physical. We need the other kind of physical balance... like all your parts inside working correctly and a balanced diet. We also need emotional and spiritual balance.
Steps: Think about life with out steps.... ? yep that's right no moving forward, no climbing stairs etc
our steps start out small. as a baby learning to walk we learned little by little. we learned to walk. we then learned to run and skip and even walk gracefully..(ok I am still learning that one)! when we run its like we get to experience flying for a measurement of time that's smaller than a second... our feet propel us when we run and in those moments of running there are times when our feet aren't even touching the ground!
absorption: did you know the feet are SO absorbent! I've never tried this exact experiment but: you can put a clove of garlic on your feet (like holding it with your toes) and within a small amout of time you will start tasting it! crazy huh! There are nerve endings from your whole body ending at your feet. therefore absorbing all that is put on. if your sick, you can put things(vicks, essential oils etc) on your feet and it will help your cough or sickness heal up and be more manageable. so with that said? what do you put on your feet? what are you absorbing? what are you absorbing in the rest of your life? regardless of this talk about feet :)
electricity and grounding: I don't know the scientific-ness of this statement or sections but in my psychology class, (and I have heard it else where) that they electromagnetic fields (that are all around us, and increasing) have a negative effect on our bodies! the things we were talking about in our class was a herd of cows. there was this herd of cows that had two places that it could be. one was in a field by a big electrical plant, and the other was far away from this plant and what they found is that when they were grazing near the electrical plant the cows had significantly less babies, lower birth weight babies and less milk. and other numerous health problems. But when it was far away from that power plant. they had healthy babies, more babies, plenty milk, and overall good health. so my teacher was explain that just like cows...electromagnetic-ness causes problems with us too. what does that have to do with feet? if you go outside barefoot...it helps reduce the static and electric-ness that's in your bodies. Play in the grass. work in the garden. etc etc just ground yourself back to nature and the earth! ......(by the way, I'll talk about shoes next but you cant ground yourself with shoes on, it blocks the connection between you and the earth and defeats the purpose)
path and direction: you cant walk in the direction your head or heart want you to go unless your feet are pointed that direction.. simple as that!
Shoes: shoes cover your feet, keep them warm, protect them, take you places, etc etc. but you collect so much Crap! from all those places that you just were. so when you get home.. take them off. you don't really NEED your shoes on at home. so why have them on? its partly a matter of cleanliness because who doesn't love a clean house? but really? your home is your special place! your home is...well its my baby, and pride and joy. I am pleased with the specialness of my house! it isn't my house its my home, its my safe haven, my protection, my school, my life! and the yucky outside nastiness (in more than physical dirt) has no place here!
Following: how do we follow someone? we watch their balance, we watch their steps, we watch their path and direction? if it rings true? we follow them!
this blog didn't turn out how I thought it would but I hope you enjoyed it!!
so at some point in my life...(in the past 8 years) I decided I was going to have a Foot Wall! so now that I'm all grown up and have a house :) I have a foot wall. its at the entrance of my house...(coming and going...get it). its not done? I have some more things I want to put on it. but I was tired of waiting till I got them :) I had these and I didn't want them sitting there collecting dust anymore :) so I put these up and when I get the other stuff I will add and re-arrange :)
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
why i dont walk at night! :)
So... I decided to take a beautiful moon-lit walk... down to get the mail! heres how it went in my head:
I hope its light enough to see. I hope I don't get eaten by some big scary beast. I'll be fine! its plenty light. the moon is so pretty! its so peaceful. I'm so glad I live here in the middle of nowhere. I hope this walk is worth something, I hope there is some mail for me. *get to the m...ail boxes* yes! 2 packages! and a phone bill! even though I know whats in them I cant wait to get back home to open them! brr is cold out here. whats that noise? its coyotes! shoot. walk faster! how many are there? it sound like a million! they can probably smell my fear!..are they getting closer? what is that noise? oh a horse running toward me making not horse noises!! what is that noise? oh a cow that sounds like a creaky door! crap Deborah just get home!!!!!
So I decided that yes nothing beats a moon lit walk! it was beautiful!! next time just remember to bring someone else with me!
I hope its light enough to see. I hope I don't get eaten by some big scary beast. I'll be fine! its plenty light. the moon is so pretty! its so peaceful. I'm so glad I live here in the middle of nowhere. I hope this walk is worth something, I hope there is some mail for me. *get to the m...ail boxes* yes! 2 packages! and a phone bill! even though I know whats in them I cant wait to get back home to open them! brr is cold out here. whats that noise? its coyotes! shoot. walk faster! how many are there? it sound like a million! they can probably smell my fear!..are they getting closer? what is that noise? oh a horse running toward me making not horse noises!! what is that noise? oh a cow that sounds like a creaky door! crap Deborah just get home!!!!!
So I decided that yes nothing beats a moon lit walk! it was beautiful!! next time just remember to bring someone else with me!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Refried Beans....in a Crock Pot!
As requested by my friend: Refried Beans
1 Lb beans (I used pinto, I wanted to try mixing a few different kinds but I stuck with one this time)
1 1/2 tsp salt (I ended up using a lot more)
1 onion, chopped fine
5-6 cloves garlic, minced (I used the bottled kind from Costco, about 3 Tbsp)
3 Tbsp butter
1 Tsp cumin (I ended up using a little more)
I doubled this recipe...not that it matters...now you just know it can be done :)
ok directions:
sort out the defective beans.
rinse the beans and put in the crock pot.
cover with water by several inches and soak(don't turn on the crock pot!)
My recipe says to soak over night. I soaked them for about 8 hours in the day. I don't think it matters if you do it at night or in the day... totally a preference, I'll explain it in a min :)
so after soaking, drain the beans, and rinse again
return to crock pot and add 6 cups of water
ha ha funny :) as I am reading this is says add water and salt...I bet if I cooked the beans with the salt I wouldn't have had to add more than what it calls for :)
so add the salt and see what happens :)
cook on low for 10 - 12 hours..... this is why I soaked them in the day and cooked them over night, because I didn't want to get up at 5 or 6 so that it could be a reasonable hour in the evening that I finished them, and I didn't want to stay up till 10 or 11 at night finishing beans :) so I started them and cooked them on low for 12 hours. just make sure they are nice and soft when they are done.
drain the beans but save the liquid...
I put the beans back in the crock and mashed them with a potato masher. I'm sure there are other ways but that's what I did.
sauté onions and garlic in the butter till they are cooked and nice and caramelized!
add the onions garlic, also the cumin (and this is where I added salt)
and mix it up really well (I just kept using the potato masher)
add liquid (the stuff you saved) till it is your desired consistency :) (I used total probably 1/4 - 1/2 a cup, but remember I doubled it, and I was making burritos so I didn't want it too runny)
heat it up again in the crock pot till heated through!
I didn't heat it up again because well I wasn't serving it right then :) I cooled it off and made burritos :) oh as the beans cool they got thicker...so keep that in mind when adding liquid. my amounts before included ALL the liquid I added, 2 different times.
so the burritos I made: next time I make them I will do home made tortillas but I just used store bought ones this time...
I put some beans on
then some left over rice I had (a mixture of black rice and brown rice. the black rice is from Costco its so yummy!!)
then I put some cheese on it and rolled it up and froze them!
happy cooking!
1 Lb beans (I used pinto, I wanted to try mixing a few different kinds but I stuck with one this time)
1 1/2 tsp salt (I ended up using a lot more)
1 onion, chopped fine
5-6 cloves garlic, minced (I used the bottled kind from Costco, about 3 Tbsp)
3 Tbsp butter
1 Tsp cumin (I ended up using a little more)
I doubled this recipe...not that it matters...now you just know it can be done :)
ok directions:
sort out the defective beans.
rinse the beans and put in the crock pot.
cover with water by several inches and soak(don't turn on the crock pot!)
My recipe says to soak over night. I soaked them for about 8 hours in the day. I don't think it matters if you do it at night or in the day... totally a preference, I'll explain it in a min :)
so after soaking, drain the beans, and rinse again
return to crock pot and add 6 cups of water
ha ha funny :) as I am reading this is says add water and salt...I bet if I cooked the beans with the salt I wouldn't have had to add more than what it calls for :)
so add the salt and see what happens :)
cook on low for 10 - 12 hours..... this is why I soaked them in the day and cooked them over night, because I didn't want to get up at 5 or 6 so that it could be a reasonable hour in the evening that I finished them, and I didn't want to stay up till 10 or 11 at night finishing beans :) so I started them and cooked them on low for 12 hours. just make sure they are nice and soft when they are done.
drain the beans but save the liquid...
I put the beans back in the crock and mashed them with a potato masher. I'm sure there are other ways but that's what I did.
sauté onions and garlic in the butter till they are cooked and nice and caramelized!
add the onions garlic, also the cumin (and this is where I added salt)
and mix it up really well (I just kept using the potato masher)
add liquid (the stuff you saved) till it is your desired consistency :) (I used total probably 1/4 - 1/2 a cup, but remember I doubled it, and I was making burritos so I didn't want it too runny)
heat it up again in the crock pot till heated through!
I didn't heat it up again because well I wasn't serving it right then :) I cooled it off and made burritos :) oh as the beans cool they got thicker...so keep that in mind when adding liquid. my amounts before included ALL the liquid I added, 2 different times.
so the burritos I made: next time I make them I will do home made tortillas but I just used store bought ones this time...
I put some beans on
then some left over rice I had (a mixture of black rice and brown rice. the black rice is from Costco its so yummy!!)
then I put some cheese on it and rolled it up and froze them!
happy cooking!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Teresa: My Sister, My Friend, My Hero
A hero is defined as: any person especially a man admired for courage, nobility etc. (so I guess in my title I should have put heroine. but that definition is only a female hero lol...so I'm sticking with hero!)
A friend is defined as: a person whom one knows well or is fond of
and A sister is defined as: a girl or woman as she is related to the other children of her parents.. (I found that a quite amusing definition lol.. its a modern dictionary, I don't have my original good one yet!)
My sister Teresa was/is all of that and more to me!
Teresa was first my sister. she was 13 (or 14) when I was born. and as the definition above states: a female that I share parents with (lol!) When I was younger that's what we had..a sister relationship, I would watch her kids, we worked together with my dad, we'd yell at each other, she was older, she'd boss me around in her big sister voice, and I was the youngest....I'd do it.
Then she became my friend. As I got older, we would talk all the time, I'd tell her about boys, and the drama of my other friends. we'd talk about likes, dislikes, etc etc
she was so supportive of me, she was at all of my "stuff" choir performances, plays, etc. my friend and I made a bucket list and I was telling Teresa about it one time, then later I was at her house, and she was in the bathroom...(potty party) and she was telling me about a story she read about a boy who made a bucket list and he had BIG things on it! and he accomplished them all! and she told me that I shouldn't hold back on what I wanted to do and what I wanted to put in my list! if I believed it, I could do it!
Teresa was the type of woman to do ANYTHING for ANYONE!! she loved people who hated her, and when they showed it, she showed her love even more!, she would keep "things" in her car for girls at work who would have surprise visitors and nothing on hand, she would call my brother (in the air force) and tell him she was thinking of him and his men. there is no reason to go on with this list.. if you can think of any good deed, she's done it. for my whole life, I was always seeing her show love, be of service, have integrity and be loyal.
Teresa was diagnosed with colon cancer in march of 2005...I didn't know about it for a while.. I knew she had a tumor, she went and had surgery and got it removed...and it was still a while before I really knew what was going on. I kind of wish I would have known, but looking back maybe it was what I needed at the time.
Here is the story of how she became my hero: Toward the end of her life, I was visiting her in her bedroom and I was telling her that I had decided that i wanted to do dental hygiene and it was going to be a lot of math and I was kind of scared. and she told me that it would be worth it. I don't remember what else we talked about that day...I just remember that about school. she didn't talk much...just sort of mumbled (and picked her nose! :) ) I remember trying to hold back tears...reality was setting in that i wouldn't have her much longer. I walking out her bedroom door and she said bye and I had started crying by then...and I said bye. (she noticed the crying)...and her big sister tone...she said "hey! come here!" I minded...
water works let loose.... i hugged her and with no mumbling, and no cancer behind her words...she repeated to me: It'll be ok, it'll be ok, it'll be ok....
in the warmth of her hug and her fuzzy blue polka dotted pj's... she became my hero...
Why? because of what she left me... she left a legacy of doing what's right, no matter the outcome. she left the motivation to stick to something when you start it. she left me the knowledge of how we'll be blessed when we serve. she left me the example of loving our enemy. she left me a relationship with my other sisters that I wont ever take for granted. she left me the strength to over come even the largest obstacles. she left me the bravery to face my fears. she left me words I repeat to myself when I am going through something and I need to hear....it'll be ok!
one year for my birthday she gave me a paper that has some stars on it and it says "sisters are like stars, you cant always see them but you know they are there". I had that hanging in my room forever. I plan on hanging it here in my house sometime soon. between the 5 of us sisters, we have lived near and far. one or more of us always seems to be far... but in our hearts we wont ever be separate! Teresa isn't gone from our hearts or gone from our lives. she never will be. we have moved on from her death, and in a way we never will "get over it" we will always miss her presence. but we will also remember that she isn't really gone!
Teresa loved mickey so I just had to add this short clip of mickey !
Isn't she pretty :)
I love you Teresa! and I miss you like crazy!!
A friend is defined as: a person whom one knows well or is fond of
and A sister is defined as: a girl or woman as she is related to the other children of her parents.. (I found that a quite amusing definition lol.. its a modern dictionary, I don't have my original good one yet!)
My sister Teresa was/is all of that and more to me!
Teresa was first my sister. she was 13 (or 14) when I was born. and as the definition above states: a female that I share parents with (lol!) When I was younger that's what we had..a sister relationship, I would watch her kids, we worked together with my dad, we'd yell at each other, she was older, she'd boss me around in her big sister voice, and I was the youngest....I'd do it.
Then she became my friend. As I got older, we would talk all the time, I'd tell her about boys, and the drama of my other friends. we'd talk about likes, dislikes, etc etc
she was so supportive of me, she was at all of my "stuff" choir performances, plays, etc. my friend and I made a bucket list and I was telling Teresa about it one time, then later I was at her house, and she was in the bathroom...(potty party) and she was telling me about a story she read about a boy who made a bucket list and he had BIG things on it! and he accomplished them all! and she told me that I shouldn't hold back on what I wanted to do and what I wanted to put in my list! if I believed it, I could do it!
Teresa was the type of woman to do ANYTHING for ANYONE!! she loved people who hated her, and when they showed it, she showed her love even more!, she would keep "things" in her car for girls at work who would have surprise visitors and nothing on hand, she would call my brother (in the air force) and tell him she was thinking of him and his men. there is no reason to go on with this list.. if you can think of any good deed, she's done it. for my whole life, I was always seeing her show love, be of service, have integrity and be loyal.
Teresa was diagnosed with colon cancer in march of 2005...I didn't know about it for a while.. I knew she had a tumor, she went and had surgery and got it removed...and it was still a while before I really knew what was going on. I kind of wish I would have known, but looking back maybe it was what I needed at the time.
Here is the story of how she became my hero: Toward the end of her life, I was visiting her in her bedroom and I was telling her that I had decided that i wanted to do dental hygiene and it was going to be a lot of math and I was kind of scared. and she told me that it would be worth it. I don't remember what else we talked about that day...I just remember that about school. she didn't talk much...just sort of mumbled (and picked her nose! :) ) I remember trying to hold back tears...reality was setting in that i wouldn't have her much longer. I walking out her bedroom door and she said bye and I had started crying by then...and I said bye. (she noticed the crying)...and her big sister tone...she said "hey! come here!" I minded...
water works let loose.... i hugged her and with no mumbling, and no cancer behind her words...she repeated to me: It'll be ok, it'll be ok, it'll be ok....
in the warmth of her hug and her fuzzy blue polka dotted pj's... she became my hero...
Why? because of what she left me... she left a legacy of doing what's right, no matter the outcome. she left the motivation to stick to something when you start it. she left me the knowledge of how we'll be blessed when we serve. she left me the example of loving our enemy. she left me a relationship with my other sisters that I wont ever take for granted. she left me the strength to over come even the largest obstacles. she left me the bravery to face my fears. she left me words I repeat to myself when I am going through something and I need to hear....it'll be ok!
one year for my birthday she gave me a paper that has some stars on it and it says "sisters are like stars, you cant always see them but you know they are there". I had that hanging in my room forever. I plan on hanging it here in my house sometime soon. between the 5 of us sisters, we have lived near and far. one or more of us always seems to be far... but in our hearts we wont ever be separate! Teresa isn't gone from our hearts or gone from our lives. she never will be. we have moved on from her death, and in a way we never will "get over it" we will always miss her presence. but we will also remember that she isn't really gone!
Teresa loved mickey so I just had to add this short clip of mickey !
Isn't she pretty :)
I love you Teresa! and I miss you like crazy!!Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Differences
Ok, so......
I am watching a movie, well a TV show on Netflix, its called Switched at Birth. Obviously its about babies that were switched...at birth! Lol. So the girls are actually sixteen now, and its a typical tv show, full of who did what and who knew what, and you did that and etc etc...
well one of the girls is deaf, and I have found it interesting to watch for many reasons, one being that I like seeing how much ASL I remember :)
In this show it obviously shows how the deaf girl is different and it shows her struggling with typical things that a deaf girl may deal with.
Last week I went and saw a play (that my niece is in!) it's called Side Show. Its a play about a side show at a circus in the depression era. so in short its about a bunch of freaks! I seriously loved it! I cant wait to see it again, (I'm going again on Saturday)!! you know what a side show is right? I didn't really know, I kind of did, but anyway, they would take people with abnormalities (elephant man, the 4 legged woman, conjoined twins, midgets... etc!), and show them as freaks, on the side of the circus! how was I to know? I've never been to a circus and I wasn't around back in the day when they did that....so....you learn something new everyday!
so, why am I telling you these two things? Because I am re-learning the art of not judging! I have never really been one to judge people....so I thought. But as I thought about it after watching these two things I have realized that I need to pay a little more attention to what I am doing. because I don't want others to judge me or look at me like I have horns or a tail...I can look past their "abnormalities" and see the person!
I am different! I pride myself on being different! I don't like doing things that is the norm.... I bought a bag/purse that was kind of the in thing a few years ago...I bought it because I liked it...but so did everyone else! I saw it at church, a saw it at school, I saw it everywhere!!! there is no way I was going to use it! I still see it around, not as much but my cute little bag is still brand new! one day I'll use it...and it will be old news to everyone else... oh well!
so?
what is "normal"? conforming with the accepted standard or norm.
what is "norm"? a standard or model for a group.
so if something isn't accepted its not normal?
So my niece and I dipped animal crackers in our super duper homemade frysauce! it was delicious! and we did it again...not accepted...therefore not normal...
my nephew was born almost totally deaf and blind...(smartest kid ever)! not like the majority of kids born hearing and seeing....therefore not normal
my nieces wears clothes that don't match...one is 7 one is 16 they don't care! ....not normal
who says we need to be normal? who says we have to stick to a standard! ok so probably no one has actually said that.. I don't know? but for the sake of this writing.... we don't have to be normal!!
we can be different and we can stand up for the sake of someone else who is different from ourselves, different from the "norm".........
my normal can be a different normal than yours.
my different can be a different different than yours.
nothing can ever be the same as something else! millions (to the millionth power) of snowflakes fall and not one is the same as another! I like to take that and say...I can always be different! I wont have to conform with what someone else says is accepted and normal!
We don't have to be accepted by the "in crowd". If I want to be in the in-crowd and I change my ways and my beliefs to do it..thats wrong. I make my choices and those that matter to me will accept me for me and for who I am. I don't have to be like this or like that. I have to be me and live up to what I know I can be and become!
some of the differences we see around us aren't caused by natural causes...obviously you don't choose to be born without hearing, you don't choose to be born conjoined...... however some differences are chosen. like me eating animal crackers and frysauce with my niece! there are obviously bigger differences and bigger choices but you catch my drift.....
so...the point of all this....is that I need to just pay attention to those around me and not judge them, and help them where I can. I need to remember that whether by choice or not, that person is who he is, and I am who I am!
what goes around comes around...
treat others how you would want to be treated...
If I want to be loved for who I am than that's what I will do for you!!!
This is me:
I have a foot wall(a wall with a bunch of feet pictures)
I like peanut butter and grapes(together)
I have a blue ceiling in my kitchen
I take pictures of food I think is pretty, or cool, or sometimes just because.
I have a red wall in my family room
I love musicals, watching, being in, listening, singing
I wear striped socks with my sunday clothes
I do things(or don't do them) just because someone else didn't(or did)
I am just different! and proud of it!!!
I am watching a movie, well a TV show on Netflix, its called Switched at Birth. Obviously its about babies that were switched...at birth! Lol. So the girls are actually sixteen now, and its a typical tv show, full of who did what and who knew what, and you did that and etc etc...
well one of the girls is deaf, and I have found it interesting to watch for many reasons, one being that I like seeing how much ASL I remember :)
In this show it obviously shows how the deaf girl is different and it shows her struggling with typical things that a deaf girl may deal with.
Last week I went and saw a play (that my niece is in!) it's called Side Show. Its a play about a side show at a circus in the depression era. so in short its about a bunch of freaks! I seriously loved it! I cant wait to see it again, (I'm going again on Saturday)!! you know what a side show is right? I didn't really know, I kind of did, but anyway, they would take people with abnormalities (elephant man, the 4 legged woman, conjoined twins, midgets... etc!), and show them as freaks, on the side of the circus! how was I to know? I've never been to a circus and I wasn't around back in the day when they did that....so....you learn something new everyday!
so, why am I telling you these two things? Because I am re-learning the art of not judging! I have never really been one to judge people....so I thought. But as I thought about it after watching these two things I have realized that I need to pay a little more attention to what I am doing. because I don't want others to judge me or look at me like I have horns or a tail...I can look past their "abnormalities" and see the person!
I am different! I pride myself on being different! I don't like doing things that is the norm.... I bought a bag/purse that was kind of the in thing a few years ago...I bought it because I liked it...but so did everyone else! I saw it at church, a saw it at school, I saw it everywhere!!! there is no way I was going to use it! I still see it around, not as much but my cute little bag is still brand new! one day I'll use it...and it will be old news to everyone else... oh well!
so?
what is "normal"? conforming with the accepted standard or norm.
what is "norm"? a standard or model for a group.
so if something isn't accepted its not normal?
So my niece and I dipped animal crackers in our super duper homemade frysauce! it was delicious! and we did it again...not accepted...therefore not normal...
my nephew was born almost totally deaf and blind...(smartest kid ever)! not like the majority of kids born hearing and seeing....therefore not normal
my nieces wears clothes that don't match...one is 7 one is 16 they don't care! ....not normal
who says we need to be normal? who says we have to stick to a standard! ok so probably no one has actually said that.. I don't know? but for the sake of this writing.... we don't have to be normal!!
we can be different and we can stand up for the sake of someone else who is different from ourselves, different from the "norm".........
my normal can be a different normal than yours.
my different can be a different different than yours.
nothing can ever be the same as something else! millions (to the millionth power) of snowflakes fall and not one is the same as another! I like to take that and say...I can always be different! I wont have to conform with what someone else says is accepted and normal!
We don't have to be accepted by the "in crowd". If I want to be in the in-crowd and I change my ways and my beliefs to do it..thats wrong. I make my choices and those that matter to me will accept me for me and for who I am. I don't have to be like this or like that. I have to be me and live up to what I know I can be and become!
some of the differences we see around us aren't caused by natural causes...obviously you don't choose to be born without hearing, you don't choose to be born conjoined...... however some differences are chosen. like me eating animal crackers and frysauce with my niece! there are obviously bigger differences and bigger choices but you catch my drift.....
so...the point of all this....is that I need to just pay attention to those around me and not judge them, and help them where I can. I need to remember that whether by choice or not, that person is who he is, and I am who I am!
what goes around comes around...
treat others how you would want to be treated...
If I want to be loved for who I am than that's what I will do for you!!!
This is me:
I have a foot wall(a wall with a bunch of feet pictures)
I like peanut butter and grapes(together)
I have a blue ceiling in my kitchen
I take pictures of food I think is pretty, or cool, or sometimes just because.
I have a red wall in my family room
I love musicals, watching, being in, listening, singing
I wear striped socks with my sunday clothes
I do things(or don't do them) just because someone else didn't(or did)
I am just different! and proud of it!!!
me, my niece and my sisters feet in the limo!
first night in my house!!
pretty parfait breakfast on the blue moon day!(yes I also find excuse to have dates and do cool things with food) :)
canning salsa...it's really yummy, I had to get creative I didn't have hot peppers or a lot of onions... I also added cinnamon! :)
Monday, January 28, 2013
Homemade Laundry Soap! like this:
Out here in the sticks with "lots" of extra time on my hands, I tend to try new things! not only does this laundry soap save money it also is healthier! its not full of who knows what! here it is, try it out!
1 bar Fels Naptha
1 C Borax
1 C Washing Soda (NOT baking soda)
4 C hot water(more as needed)
here is a picture of tools I used:
ok directions:
1 bar Fels Naptha
1 C Borax
1 C Washing Soda (NOT baking soda)
4 C hot water(more as needed)
here is a picture of tools I used:
ok directions:
Heat the 4 cups water in a BIG pan...like this:
then you grate/use a food processor/use a knife to make the fels naptha really small! I used a knife and just shaved it like this:
then when the water is hot you add the soap to the water. you don't want to boil it because apparently it will get really foamy. I didn't ever had that problem so I wouldn't know...anyway add the soap and it'll get kind of lumpy, I didnt think about it till now but you can probably add it slowly and melt it in small quantities. I just added it all and it got lumpy like this:
just keep mixing it till the lumps are all gone :)
once its melted take it off the heat and add the borax and washing soda...like this
and stir it till its all dissolved, you'll know because you will hear and feel the little grainy things on the bottom of the pan.
stir stir stir: like this:
mine never got more foamy than this ^
ok now pour evenly into two quart jars like this:
then you add hot water (I just used hot tap water, don't worry about heating it on the stove) to the top of the jar....correction till you have about a 1 - 1 1/2 inch head space...like this:
then you put the lids on and flip them over, like this:
then they will start separating like this:
let them sit for 4-5 hours
luckily I started at noonish and I could take this picture between 4 and 5 lol
awesome clock huh!?
after the 4-5 hours it will have separated more kinda like this:
so...flip them back over and take off the little grainys that have settled..like this:
also wash off the lid, as it will have little grainys too.. like this:
ok so this next part I have only done one way but you can experiment and try your own way or i'll tell you the ways that were suggested to me....you can scrape everything out of it and mix it with a electric mixer or kitchen aid...or you can maybe try a food processor or if you have a blender that attaches to a mason jar you can put it on that and blend it or you can do what I did:
first stick a knife in it, to get it to drop and so you don't make a huge mess (yep I learned that one by experience!) ok so knife in it like this:
then you use a stick blender and blend it all up! don't over heat your stick blender but its so easy to keep it all in the jar! like this:
keep blending like this:
if you want you can add essential oils to make it smell! I added some cheapy lavender oil
then when you clean off the stick blender you may get something that looks like this:
frosting? mayo? etc...
just scrape down the sides and wipe around the top and put the lid back on
then label it! I wont be held responsible if you eat it!!! :)
use one tablespoon per load isn't that cool?
this recipe can be doubled to make a whole gallon
also it will store indefinitely, it will get harder but it will still dissolve or melt in hot or cold water
have fun with it!!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
What am I cut out for?
If you look to the right> it says that I sew...
If you know how to sew you know what the process is...
If you are like me you like analogies...
Here is my analogy for the day:
Before you make a dress, pants, PJ's, skirt, bag, etc you first know what you're going to make, what you're going to use it for, how you want it to look.
after you have that you need a pattern (or you make a pattern)
using the pattern you cut out the pieces you need.
then you follow instructions and sew here and sew there and then do this and that then ding! you've got a...whatever you were making!
so it is with us!
before I was made God knew what he wanted me to do and what he wanted to use me for.
he made me with a pattern
and He cut me out.
and did a little of this and that and then
Ding! I was here.
here's the catch? He knows what I was cut out for.... I am still learning
this is what I think:
If I am having a low moment, I cook, clean, sew etc
If I am having a high moment, I cook, clean, sew etc
what is that? it is the rare makings of a woman who LOVES being a woman, I could totally be a perfect fifties wife! I LOVE cooking! I LOVE doing laundry! I LOVE doing the dishes! I LOVE taking care of my husbands dirty socks! I LOVE sewing things!
I feel like I was cut out to be a wife, a homemaker, and a mom!
I LOVE being a wife! I love talking to my husband, helping him with his work, I love learning from him. I love telling him the good things that happen each day and I love getting advice for things I am struggling with. I love it when he leaves his clothes laying around so that I can take care of them. I love it when he teases me. I love writing notes to him. I love talking to him on the phone when I am away. I love it when he holds me when I cry or when life just isn't right! I love it when he tells me stories of before we met. I love it when I can tell were thinking the same thing. I love it when he holds my hand.
I am a homemaker! what is a homemaker? no I don't build houses. but yes I make my home! have you ever thought about the power a woman has over her home! I set the tone of my home! If I am sad, mad, upset, blue, then it will rub off on whoever is in my home. mostly my husband. If I am mad and he leaves to work. neither of us are gonna have a very good day and those same things are going to be there when he gets back. on the other hand, the better hand. If I do all I can to make our home the very best and I have the happy, positive, healthy things about me, then those will rub off on him and he can have a good day at work, with the people he interacts with and I can have a good day at home!
I Love both the physical and non-physical aspects of being a homemaker! I love vacuuming! (I have a dyson!) I love sweeping, I love doing laundry and folding socks! I even make my own laundry soap! I make really yummy dinners(and even yummy breakfasts and lunches!) I love making my house pretty and presentable whether I am presenting to my husband after a long day at work. or company, or the neighbor kids coming to borrow a movie. I love it! love love love!
I am not a mom yet (in the traditional sense of the word). I have many children in my life that I hope I can be an example, strength, friend, and "mother" to, and I Love them so much!
In the mean time while I am waiting for our own children. I am wondering what God has in store for me? Am I doing what He wants me to be doing? Am I doing what I am meant for? Even if all I want right now is a baby...Am I doing what I need to be doing to be a good mom? A mom that my babies are proud to come to!
I found a song that I really like! It was written about the singers adopted child, but as I was listening to it, it made me realize that I to am meant to be doing what I am doing right now! I have things to do and I can do them well, and learn to do them well. I need to focus on my duties right now.
I also must not lose hope and faith that I will have children. because I will! that day when God is ready for me to be a mom then I pray that I have done my job at preparing to be the best mommy I can for them!
here is that song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9ksMpwqjXQ
its from a veggies tales movie lol!
my prayer tonight is that I may be content with the life I am meant to be living right now!
God cut me out and has a plan! I am so thankful for it!
If you know how to sew you know what the process is...
If you are like me you like analogies...
Here is my analogy for the day:
Before you make a dress, pants, PJ's, skirt, bag, etc you first know what you're going to make, what you're going to use it for, how you want it to look.
after you have that you need a pattern (or you make a pattern)
using the pattern you cut out the pieces you need.
then you follow instructions and sew here and sew there and then do this and that then ding! you've got a...whatever you were making!
so it is with us!
before I was made God knew what he wanted me to do and what he wanted to use me for.
he made me with a pattern
and He cut me out.
and did a little of this and that and then
Ding! I was here.
here's the catch? He knows what I was cut out for.... I am still learning
this is what I think:
If I am having a low moment, I cook, clean, sew etc
If I am having a high moment, I cook, clean, sew etc
what is that? it is the rare makings of a woman who LOVES being a woman, I could totally be a perfect fifties wife! I LOVE cooking! I LOVE doing laundry! I LOVE doing the dishes! I LOVE taking care of my husbands dirty socks! I LOVE sewing things!
I feel like I was cut out to be a wife, a homemaker, and a mom!
I LOVE being a wife! I love talking to my husband, helping him with his work, I love learning from him. I love telling him the good things that happen each day and I love getting advice for things I am struggling with. I love it when he leaves his clothes laying around so that I can take care of them. I love it when he teases me. I love writing notes to him. I love talking to him on the phone when I am away. I love it when he holds me when I cry or when life just isn't right! I love it when he tells me stories of before we met. I love it when I can tell were thinking the same thing. I love it when he holds my hand.
I am a homemaker! what is a homemaker? no I don't build houses. but yes I make my home! have you ever thought about the power a woman has over her home! I set the tone of my home! If I am sad, mad, upset, blue, then it will rub off on whoever is in my home. mostly my husband. If I am mad and he leaves to work. neither of us are gonna have a very good day and those same things are going to be there when he gets back. on the other hand, the better hand. If I do all I can to make our home the very best and I have the happy, positive, healthy things about me, then those will rub off on him and he can have a good day at work, with the people he interacts with and I can have a good day at home!
I Love both the physical and non-physical aspects of being a homemaker! I love vacuuming! (I have a dyson!) I love sweeping, I love doing laundry and folding socks! I even make my own laundry soap! I make really yummy dinners(and even yummy breakfasts and lunches!) I love making my house pretty and presentable whether I am presenting to my husband after a long day at work. or company, or the neighbor kids coming to borrow a movie. I love it! love love love!
I am not a mom yet (in the traditional sense of the word). I have many children in my life that I hope I can be an example, strength, friend, and "mother" to, and I Love them so much!
In the mean time while I am waiting for our own children. I am wondering what God has in store for me? Am I doing what He wants me to be doing? Am I doing what I am meant for? Even if all I want right now is a baby...Am I doing what I need to be doing to be a good mom? A mom that my babies are proud to come to!
I found a song that I really like! It was written about the singers adopted child, but as I was listening to it, it made me realize that I to am meant to be doing what I am doing right now! I have things to do and I can do them well, and learn to do them well. I need to focus on my duties right now.
I also must not lose hope and faith that I will have children. because I will! that day when God is ready for me to be a mom then I pray that I have done my job at preparing to be the best mommy I can for them!
here is that song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9ksMpwqjXQ
its from a veggies tales movie lol!
my prayer tonight is that I may be content with the life I am meant to be living right now!
God cut me out and has a plan! I am so thankful for it!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
a little more about me
Here is my life story in a pistachio shell! Why a pistachio shell? So you've all heard the phrase "in a nut shell"? well what kind of a nut? A brazil nut can still be a long story...a peanut shell could be like two parts...and crumbly... and a pistachio shell its like small, easy, and its like "here it is"!
I was born, in December, to two AMAZING parents! I was their youngest child... They talked before they got married about having a perfect child...well I finally came along and they stopped having kids :)
I have six older siblings. 2 brothers and 4 sisters. they like to say I am spoiled I like to say I am loved! after all they are the ones that spoiled me :)
I grew up in the country/city I suppose its called sub- urban.... we had a few neighbors it wasn't a subdivision with cookie cutter houses. I had room to roam and play and make some great memories and some awesome friends.
I always wanted to live in a farm house and have a farm! cows, chickens, horses, a dog, a cat(NOT a house cat...only for catching those nasty little vermin called mice!) a garden, a porch (with a swing) to swing on in the early mornings with a book or in the evening with my honey!...well....we didn't have that I was just always a country girl at heart!
so from our room to roam house in the semi country...we moved to a cute little farm house, with a white picket fence, an acre and some stables! I was in heaven!! I was about 15 when we moved there. I was out of town when my parents bought the place but I had a few things I wanted, if I had a say in anything :) I wanted a door bell, a porch, and a livingroom window for a Christmas tree.
well our cute little farm house had it! so adorable! It was a hundred year old house (added onto a bit) but for mom and dad and me it was perfect! the only thing is...it was even closer to a city..ok it wasn't like NYC or anything just a small little Utah town but closer to neighbors and not as much room to roam....and no animals (except our trusty black lab mix that we got shortly after we moved in)
BUT....that was all ok because I was really into my extra curricular activities at the time...
I was home schooled all through High School (loved it) and I was in lots of community plays, a homeschool choir, a girls choir, plus my schooling, and of course friends to hang out with.
by the time I was sixteen my mom was THRILLED that I could drive and she no longer needed to drive me everywhere under the sun! Plus I was thrilled because my dad had a cute little black VW beetle that I got to take sometimes!!
when I was 17 I graduated my friend and I did the cute little ceremony with the UHEA(Utah home educators association)
I couldn't start college with out a bunch of paperwork and stuff because I wasn't 18 and didn't have a "diploma" whatever!
My sister was diagnosed with colon cancer in the spring of 2005...after a long 11 months, she passed away. She was only 32 and she had 4 young children.
she died in February 2006 and the January of 2006 my dad was hospitalized for a few different things a heart attack being one of them. Then with other health issues he was still in the hospital when my sister died.
My dad died the next year in September (2007)
in November of 2008 my grandma died.
needless to say it was a long long 3 years for my family
In the summer of 2006 I started college! yay I was an adult! summer school? yes but only two classes....easy peasy! math and computer
my first full semester was that fall of '06! of what fun I had in college! it was such a new experience! but a great one!
I started just with general studies but I had every intention of being a dental hygienist!
through HS I wanted to be a chef! own a restaurant, be a famous chef, be a chef on a cruise ship and travel! yah well by the time I "grew up" I realized I wanted a family and those things I wanted in a career weren't matching with my bigger better goals of being a wife and mother! I wanted to be a stay at home mom. stay at home moms don't need degrees you say? well this one does! I wasn't just going to sit around and wait for my prince charming! I was going to school!! I wanted to stay at home but I know there are times where work is scarce or an extra income is needed so for my college major I chose Dental Hygiene! good money if I needed to work and fewer hours and etc. etc.
well I started my generals and saw the cute little other girls in scrubs and with there little dentist tools...I was really excited!
So cute little college student that I was, ha ha- I was getting pre reqs done...well since dental hygiene is a science field the pre reqs were things like anatomy and micro biology...fun! yah well after a couple other science classes I was taking a big bite and I took anatomy and micro biology (and both their labs) in 1! yes ONE semester!!! no no no that was not a smarty pants move! I had never studied so hard in my life and I was still getting D's! My sister needed the micro bio class and she took it with me...a single working mother...who never had time to study...getting A's and B's! what the heck!!!
SO after a lot of thought and prayer, in the middle of that semester I decided to change majors!
mom said my attitude change was like night and day! I was not cut out to do those things and God knew it! I didn't know what I was going to do major wise at that point so I finished out that semester. I'd think about it later. well I looked into a few things and I came back to being a chef! I figured its what I wanted to do! and I could still be a wife and mother I just tweaked my chefing goals!
so I started the culinary program! a 4 year program! I LOVED it!!
when I was in my second to last semester of Culinary arts I met my dream boy! and during spring break of my last semester I married him!!! (clarification, I didn't meet him at school)
I have been married almost 3 year now....(I love him SO much!!)
And guess what that man had? a ranch, and guess what I have?? A cute little farm house, a yard fit for a family and a dog and a garden! plenty acres!! a 40 mile dirt road to get to my house! and we have cows!! and horses!!! I got my dream! I live in the country! My heart is happy! I no longer have to be a country girl at heart! I am a country girl!
I have a house with a porch, where I can sit with my sweetheart and drink lemonade and talk of...anything! I can see millions and millions of stars every night! and I cant hear anything! no cars, sirens, honks, etc only coyotes, cows, dogs, etc!
Guess what else I have? boots, my cow girl hat, and a pair of overalls!
and that my friends Is my life in a nut shell....a pistachio shell!
song to go along??
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueLZ3i83N4I
I was born, in December, to two AMAZING parents! I was their youngest child... They talked before they got married about having a perfect child...well I finally came along and they stopped having kids :)
I have six older siblings. 2 brothers and 4 sisters. they like to say I am spoiled I like to say I am loved! after all they are the ones that spoiled me :)
I grew up in the country/city I suppose its called sub- urban.... we had a few neighbors it wasn't a subdivision with cookie cutter houses. I had room to roam and play and make some great memories and some awesome friends.
I always wanted to live in a farm house and have a farm! cows, chickens, horses, a dog, a cat(NOT a house cat...only for catching those nasty little vermin called mice!) a garden, a porch (with a swing) to swing on in the early mornings with a book or in the evening with my honey!...well....we didn't have that I was just always a country girl at heart!
so from our room to roam house in the semi country...we moved to a cute little farm house, with a white picket fence, an acre and some stables! I was in heaven!! I was about 15 when we moved there. I was out of town when my parents bought the place but I had a few things I wanted, if I had a say in anything :) I wanted a door bell, a porch, and a livingroom window for a Christmas tree.
well our cute little farm house had it! so adorable! It was a hundred year old house (added onto a bit) but for mom and dad and me it was perfect! the only thing is...it was even closer to a city..ok it wasn't like NYC or anything just a small little Utah town but closer to neighbors and not as much room to roam....and no animals (except our trusty black lab mix that we got shortly after we moved in)
BUT....that was all ok because I was really into my extra curricular activities at the time...
I was home schooled all through High School (loved it) and I was in lots of community plays, a homeschool choir, a girls choir, plus my schooling, and of course friends to hang out with.
by the time I was sixteen my mom was THRILLED that I could drive and she no longer needed to drive me everywhere under the sun! Plus I was thrilled because my dad had a cute little black VW beetle that I got to take sometimes!!
when I was 17 I graduated my friend and I did the cute little ceremony with the UHEA(Utah home educators association)
I couldn't start college with out a bunch of paperwork and stuff because I wasn't 18 and didn't have a "diploma" whatever!
My sister was diagnosed with colon cancer in the spring of 2005...after a long 11 months, she passed away. She was only 32 and she had 4 young children.
she died in February 2006 and the January of 2006 my dad was hospitalized for a few different things a heart attack being one of them. Then with other health issues he was still in the hospital when my sister died.
My dad died the next year in September (2007)
in November of 2008 my grandma died.
needless to say it was a long long 3 years for my family
In the summer of 2006 I started college! yay I was an adult! summer school? yes but only two classes....easy peasy! math and computer
my first full semester was that fall of '06! of what fun I had in college! it was such a new experience! but a great one!
I started just with general studies but I had every intention of being a dental hygienist!
through HS I wanted to be a chef! own a restaurant, be a famous chef, be a chef on a cruise ship and travel! yah well by the time I "grew up" I realized I wanted a family and those things I wanted in a career weren't matching with my bigger better goals of being a wife and mother! I wanted to be a stay at home mom. stay at home moms don't need degrees you say? well this one does! I wasn't just going to sit around and wait for my prince charming! I was going to school!! I wanted to stay at home but I know there are times where work is scarce or an extra income is needed so for my college major I chose Dental Hygiene! good money if I needed to work and fewer hours and etc. etc.
well I started my generals and saw the cute little other girls in scrubs and with there little dentist tools...I was really excited!
So cute little college student that I was, ha ha- I was getting pre reqs done...well since dental hygiene is a science field the pre reqs were things like anatomy and micro biology...fun! yah well after a couple other science classes I was taking a big bite and I took anatomy and micro biology (and both their labs) in 1! yes ONE semester!!! no no no that was not a smarty pants move! I had never studied so hard in my life and I was still getting D's! My sister needed the micro bio class and she took it with me...a single working mother...who never had time to study...getting A's and B's! what the heck!!!
SO after a lot of thought and prayer, in the middle of that semester I decided to change majors!
mom said my attitude change was like night and day! I was not cut out to do those things and God knew it! I didn't know what I was going to do major wise at that point so I finished out that semester. I'd think about it later. well I looked into a few things and I came back to being a chef! I figured its what I wanted to do! and I could still be a wife and mother I just tweaked my chefing goals!
so I started the culinary program! a 4 year program! I LOVED it!!
when I was in my second to last semester of Culinary arts I met my dream boy! and during spring break of my last semester I married him!!! (clarification, I didn't meet him at school)
I have been married almost 3 year now....(I love him SO much!!)
And guess what that man had? a ranch, and guess what I have?? A cute little farm house, a yard fit for a family and a dog and a garden! plenty acres!! a 40 mile dirt road to get to my house! and we have cows!! and horses!!! I got my dream! I live in the country! My heart is happy! I no longer have to be a country girl at heart! I am a country girl!
I have a house with a porch, where I can sit with my sweetheart and drink lemonade and talk of...anything! I can see millions and millions of stars every night! and I cant hear anything! no cars, sirens, honks, etc only coyotes, cows, dogs, etc!
Guess what else I have? boots, my cow girl hat, and a pair of overalls!
and that my friends Is my life in a nut shell....a pistachio shell!
song to go along??
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueLZ3i83N4I
to begin with...
Well, I did it! I created a Blog! Now the question is... what to do with it? I tried answering millions of questions before I created it......like what should I write about? Should it be a specific topic? Do I really want to? Will people like it? Will people read it? What if I say too much about myself on the internet!!? ;)
So in answer to all that....anything and everything and things in between, no, yes, who cares, I'm sure, you wont!
(I really answered those questions in order, in case you're wondering?)
So to finish this post, my very first one ever! I say to you...be prepared! this is what you should be ready for:
humor
quotes, and more quotes
drama
advice (if you're blessed enough to see it)
family
music
movie quotes (of reference to movies)
friends
food (yes including recipes!)
health
things you may or may not want to know about me
run on sentences, no commas where they should be, and "words" like ginormous and funner, spelling errors, etc I'm not a typing or english perfectionist!
this list can go on! you never know what you're gonna get!(just like a box of chocolate!)----there you are, first movie quote(ish)
all I ask from you?
be patient, like I said I just created this, I'm still learning how to use it :)
but most importantly! have fun reading, watching, listening....
So in answer to all that....anything and everything and things in between, no, yes, who cares, I'm sure, you wont!
(I really answered those questions in order, in case you're wondering?)
So to finish this post, my very first one ever! I say to you...be prepared! this is what you should be ready for:
humor
quotes, and more quotes
drama
advice (if you're blessed enough to see it)
family
music
movie quotes (of reference to movies)
friends
food (yes including recipes!)
health
things you may or may not want to know about me
run on sentences, no commas where they should be, and "words" like ginormous and funner, spelling errors, etc I'm not a typing or english perfectionist!
this list can go on! you never know what you're gonna get!(just like a box of chocolate!)----there you are, first movie quote(ish)
all I ask from you?
be patient, like I said I just created this, I'm still learning how to use it :)
but most importantly! have fun reading, watching, listening....
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